tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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