okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
