dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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