Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
wow bdsm is so cute
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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