dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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