She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Damn victory sex feels great
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
