I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
