Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
