my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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