Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize