Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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