I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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