So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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