I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
