I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
