He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
