I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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