Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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