You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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