No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
