I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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