I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
