You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
