How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
