fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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