Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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