She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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