i jhust puked up my retainher.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
