if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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