The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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