ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
