im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
