It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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