We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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