I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
