So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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