I'd wear matching sweaters with you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my shit smells like andre
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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