do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
