a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
