No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
COCAINE IS GR8
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