After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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