you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize