Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
