I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
