he puts the penis in happiness.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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