More tranny stories later!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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