I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
