I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
