at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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