No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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