nut hugger
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
