I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
