This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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