GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
