do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
