oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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