Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I need a beard to bite.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
