I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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