Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
