i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
