I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
