Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
