did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize