And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The power of my boobs compel you
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
