And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
