I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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