why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
